


Don't Give up now, There's Already so Much at Stake

by BlueHairedGrace1010



Series: Spark Squad [3]
Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Brothers being assholes, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Cross-Posted on Wattpad, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Gift Fic, Gift Work, Grief/Mourning, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, Kamino (Star Wars), Kaminoans are terrible, Mentions of Decomissioning/Reconditioning, Original Character Death(s), Original Character-centric, Overprotective Big Brother, Pre-Star Wars: The Clone Wars, The Author Regrets Everything, The Author Regrets Nothing, brothers being brothers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-14
Updated: 2020-09-14
Packaged: 2021-03-07 07:08:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26469199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueHairedGrace1010/pseuds/BlueHairedGrace1010
Summary: Sketch has noticed a big change in behaviour from his brother's in the days following Duke's death. Now that he has to be the only big brother, he'll do anything he can to help them start healing.
Series: Spark Squad [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1884820
Comments: 5
Kudos: 9





	Don't Give up now, There's Already so Much at Stake

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Hoxford298](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hoxford298/gifts).



> Welcome to the longest fic I've ever written for Star Wars. Part 3 of Spark Squad is here!
> 
> The title comes from the song "Atlas Falls" by Shinedown. I know you guys find this super shocking.
> 
> I dedicate this to you, Hoxford298. Don't think I didn't see your Kudos and Bookmarks. I SAW THEM AND THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! So here, have another fic that is full of clone boyo OCs suffering.
> 
> I hope you all enjoy Part 3 of Spark Squad! I hope to have Part 4 up soon!

Sketch exited the room, rubbing his arms and trying to soothe them. It didn’t matter, though; the bruises would be there tomorrow regardless.

As he went to return to the barracks, someone had to tell his batchmates what happened, the Kaminoan stopped him. “Cadet,” the Kaminoan addressed him, “we have reconsidered our options and decided it would be beneficial to repurpose you while we terminate the other one.”

Sketch’s eyes widened. “But I accepted my punishment, sir,” he cautiously said.

“It wasn’t to our satisfaction, cadet, and we determined that you were more responsible than originally thought for the other defect,” the Kaminoan dismissively returned. “Let’s go.”

“Yes, sir,” Sketch quietly mumbled, following the Kaminoan back they way he had just come.

What had he done wrong? Everything he’d ever done had been to set a good example for his batchmates; acting the oldest and most mature out of them all, keeping his hair the way the Kaminoans ordered, working himself to the bone to be a good soldier, taking care of them when needed, but it still wasn’t enough in the end. Clearly, as Duke was currently waiting to be decommissioned.

Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad, dying beside Duke. If he was being, ‘repurposed’, as the Kaminoan had put it, he had a feeling it would be kind of like dying anyway. It had never been the death Sketch had imagined for himself, or any of his vode, but at least he wouldn’t be alone.

Sketch shook his head in disgust. What was he _thinking_? Duke would be ashamed that Sketch had even considered leaving Ghost, Morale, and Pillow behind; but what could he do? Duke had been dragged away, kicking, screaming, and yelling abuse at everyone except him; it had done nothing. He was still dragged away in the end. If Duke couldn’t get them to stop, how could Sketch?

He noticed that they were approaching a door, the same one Duke had been dragged through and Sketch felt his panic rising. He stopped following the Kaminoan.

“No,” Sketch stated, trying to make his voice sound strong.

It had no effect on the Kaminoan, other than an exasperated sigh. Suddenly, hands were all over him; grabbing at him and pulling him towards the door. He saw no faces, even the Kaminoan was gone, only hands. Sketch screamed and fought against the hands, but it did no good.

They drew closer and closer to the door. A hand opened the door and Sketch’s eyes widened at the sight, gasping in horror.

* * *

Sketch jolted awake, his breath caught in his throat and his entire body feeling clammy. His eyes darted around frantically, realizing he was in his pod in the barracks.

He took several deep breaths, trying to calm his racing heart before he started screaming. He stared into the blackness above him and willed his eyes to dry.

That dream had felt _so real_. He could still feel the hands on him, dragging him to face his doom alongside Duke. How likely is it that it could’ve _actually_ happened?

Duke was dead, in mind and body; decommissioned, not _repurposed_. Sketch shivered at the mere thought of the word. He wasn’t sure what was worse; Duke being completely gone forever or Duke’s body still being alive, but _Duke_ isn’t actually alive.

Either way, Sketch was now forced to be the older brother of this batchmates alone. No more Duke to help keep them safe. No more Duke to help comfort them. It was all on Sketch now. For the sake of them all, Duke and himself included, Sketch would do everything he could for them.

To start, he’d have to check in on all of his batchmates. Sketch would be an idiot if he hadn’t noticed their change in behaviour.

Morale was pushing himself to the brink. He trained extremely hard during the day and sneaked out at night to keep training secretly. He barely ate anymore and he had dark circles under his eyes. The tension between him and Pillow was obvious to everyone. That fake smile he gave everyone broke Sketch’s heart.

Ghost had never been distance with his batchmates and for the first time ever, he was, especially with Pillow. He was even quieter, he barely smiled, and he spent most of his nights crying. He also had dark circles under his eyes, but they were nowhere near as bad as Morale’s.

Pillow was acting the most ‘normal’ out of them all. He kept up the same training he had always done, he had always loved training and being active, but Sketch could see that the fun had been sucked out of it for him. Pillow spent most of his time alone now; the tension separating him from Ghost and Morale was clearly affecting him.

He looked at the sketch he was working on; it was in his pod with him and he must’ve fallen asleep while working on it. Luckily, it didn’t seem like he had messed it up. He smiled at the drawing that had all five of them together, standing with their arms around each other in a line. He wanted to work on it a bit more, but knew he should get some sleep.

Sketch breathed deeply and closed his eyes. He would need all the energy he could get to help his vode.

* * *

Morning training hadn’t started yet; they ate a little bit before training began. Ghost and Pillow had already gone, and Sketch wasn’t far behind. This was the perfect opportunity to talk to Morale alone; he had stayed out late to continue secretly training and he hadn’t woken up yet. Sketch would wake him up now and they would go together; hopefully, their talk would be done by the time they had caught up to the others.

He climbed up to Morale’s pod and knocked forcefully, trying to wake him up. He heard a bang. Sketch winced in sympathy, having the feeling that Morale had just banged his head on the top of his pod.

“What?” he heard groaned from inside the pod.

Sketch snorted. “It’s late. We need to go eat.”

Morale’s pod opened and his batchmate came out. He climbed out of his pod and stumbled to the ground. He placed a hand on his forehead and took some deep breaths. He looked up and Sketch held back a gasp at the sight of his face; his brother’s face was extremely pale and the black rings circling his eyes made his face look even worse. The fake smile wasn’t helping.

They left the barracks and Sketch decided to start treading carefully. “How’s your training going?”

Morale sighed tiredly. “Good, I guess. I just feel so much more exhausted than I used to.”

Sketch nodded. “I guess that's what happens when you train excessively, get little sleep, and barely eat anything.”

Morale stopped walking. “Wait, how did you know?”

So much for treading carefully. “Keep waking. I’ve heard you sneaking out at night, Mor’ika. A lot of time passes before you come back, so you don’t sleep a lot before we need to wake up. Then, when we do get to eat, you barely touch it.”

Morale shrugged, not meeting his eyes. “I just haven’t been hungry, that’s all.”

Sketch hummed. “Okay, so what about the training? You’ve never been that crazy about training; I honestly thought Pillow would do something like that.”

Morale flinched at the mention of Pillow. Sketch narrowed his eyes. “Did Pillow say something to you?”

He fidgeted with his sleeve as he sighed. “Not really?”

Sketch rolled his eyes in response and lightly shoved his brother. “Is that a question or an answer?”

Morale huffed, shoving him back. “Yeah, he said something, but he’s already apologized. I don’t know why it matters.”

“Because you’re clearly still thinking about it and letting it affect you. What’d he say?” Sketch persisted.

Morale sighed, running a hand through his hair. “When we were waiting for you and D...” Morale swallowed, before pressing forward. “Duke to come back, he and Ghost started arguing. I stopped them and he told me that we’d have never been in that position if I hadn’t been such a f-failure during training.”

Sketch’s eyes widened and he stopped walking. “He what?!”

Frantically looking around, Morale breathed a sigh of relief when no trainers or Kaminoans were in the area; just other vode who gave them curious glances, but quickly moved on to let them settle this themselves. “You heard me! Now quiet down and take your own advice!”

Sketch shook his head and continued walking. “Why would he say that?”

Morale’s expression became sad. “He just wanted to blame someone that wasn’t himself. If he’d been thinking straight, I know he wouldn’t have said it. I just—I can’t get the words out of my head now.”

“And now you’re blaming yourself for him being taken away?” Sketch questioned, trying to hold back his anger.

“Of course I’m blaming myself!” Morale exclaimed, then hunching over as the gazes of several brothers looked at him. “How could I not blame myself, Sketch? If I hadn’t been such a failure that day, D-Duke wouldn’t have needed to step in to defend me! If I had just ignored the Kaminoan and the trainer, everything would’ve been fine! If I hadn’t been such a _defect_ —“

“Stop.” Sketch voice was so cold with fury that Morale eyes widened as he stopped talking. “Duke’s death _is not your fault_. It is no one’s fault except the Kaminiise. Pillow _should not_ have said what he did.”

“But it’s true! If I hadn’t kept messing up, Duke never would’ve felt the need to stand up for me!” Morale protested.

Sighing, Sketch replied, “That’s true, Mor’ika, but we knew Duke. A trainer or Kaminii would’ve said something soon enough and he would’ve done the same thing he always did. It’s the Kaminii that decided he would be killed for it, so it’s _their fault_ , not yours.”

Morale looked down at his feet and whispered, “But he was getting better, he promised me he was getting better. Then he didn’t listen to me and a part of me is so angry at him for it.”

“It was a cycle, Mor’ika,” Sketch said, grabbing his hand. “We talked and he promised me that he would stop antagonizing the trainer and Kaminiise; a few days later, he was yelling at them again for pushing Ghost too hard. Duke was Duke and he wasn’t going to change; we always were his top priority and I don’t think anything could’ve changed that.”

“I hear what you’re saying, and I know logically that you’re right, but it isn’t that easy to forget that he wouldn’t be d—gone _right now_ if it wasn’t for me. It isn’t easy to forget what Pillow said earlier, but I miss him. I love and miss him more than I’m angry at him. I just—I want my brothers back and I don’t want _anyone_ to ever die for me again,” Morale ranted.

“And that’s why you’ve been training so much?” Sketch asked. “So you don’t slip up again?” Morale nodded. Sketch inhaled. “Morale, training _too_ much and not getting enough sleep and food _will not_ help. If anything, it will make you more likely to slip up. You need to take a break. You need to eat. You need to sleep.”

“Okay,” Morale whispered. “I don’t know if I can anymore, though.”

“We will help you, all of us” Sketch resolutely replied.

“But none of us are really talking anymore,” Morale pointed out.

Sketch lightly smirked. “You didn’t really think that you’re the only one I’m going to talk to, right? You’re just the lucky one who got stuck with me first.”

Morale rolled his eyes and smiled lightly. “You promise? That you’ll talk to both of them? I’d rather work things out with Pillow than lose him; I think Ghost feels the same too.”

Sketch nodded. “I promise.”

They finally reached their destination, going to get their food. Morale smiled and pointed at two open spots. “Shall we?”

* * *

As Sketch lay in his pod during sleeping hours, he silently congratulated Morale on a successful day. He had started eating a bit again, but not everything; he had claimed to start feeling sick and Sketch hadn’t pushed him. He had slowed down during training, and hadn’t become excessive. Morale had been in his pod for a while now and Sketch had been working on his drawing, so he hadn’t heard him leave. He hoped it stayed that way.

Unfortunately, he hadn’t been able to get Ghost or Pillow alone during the day, but hearing the sobbing from Ghost’s pod, Sketch knew he had his chance.

He quietly opened his pod and looked around. The guard wasn’t there so Sketch got out of his pod, onto the ladder, and to the floor.

He gently walked over to Ghost’s pod and knocked lightly. The sobbing abruptly stopped. “It’s okay, Ghost. It’s just Sketch.”

“What do you want?” was the whispered reply.

“Can I come in? I think we should talk,” Sketch whispered back.

He heard a sniffle before, “I guess so.”

Sketch opened the pod and quickly climbed in, leaning down to close it and laid beside his brother. He got a look at Ghost and his brother had made no attempt to hide the dark rings around his eyes or the tear-tracks on his cheeks.

Once the pod was closed, Ghost whispered to him, “What did you want to talk about?”

“You, actually,” Sketch whispered back.

Ghost tensed. “Why?”

Sketch gave him a deadpan look. “Could it be because you spend a lot of the night crying now? Or because you look dead tired? Or possibly because you never smile anymore? Or maybe even because you’re distant with us in a way you never have been?”

Ghost looked away from him. “So what? Maybe I’m tired of being around you guys.”

Sketch raised an eyebrow. “Shall I leave then? If you’re that tired of me.”

“No!” Ghost quickly backtracked. “Sorry, just tired, I guess.” Sketch went to make a sarcastic remark, but Ghost cut him off. “Yes, I know getting tired is what ends up happening when you spend most nights crying and not sleeping.”

Smirking, Sketch asked, “So why are you doing it?”

“It’s not like I have any other time to cry,” Ghost quipped.

“Why wouldn’t you _talk_ to us then? We’re batchmates, and we always help each other,” Sketch replied.

Ghost sighed. “I know, it’s just—I didn’t want to bother you, Morale’s become insane with the training, but he was better today, and Pillow and I haven’t been talking.”

Sketch nodded casually. “I heard that there was some tension with Pillow.”

Ghost gave him a guilty look. “I know what you’re thinking, but I started it.”

Sketch wasn’t sure whether Ghost actually had, that wasn’t like Ghost, or was just taking the blame. “Really? How come?”

“While we were wait for you an Du-uke to come back, we were all on edge. I was rocking back and forth on my pod and Pillow was standing up and tapping his foot _over and over_. It was so annoying and it wasn’t helping, so I told him that. He came back with my rocking was annoying and that I was a quality brother for being more worried with his tapping than you and...D-Duke,” Ghost explained, his eyes starting to water again.

“And that’s when Morale tried to diffuse the argument and Pillow called him a failure,” Sketch finished, his voice tightly controlled.

“Uh huh,” Ghost agreed. “He did apologize to Morale, I heard him, but that would be hard to forget. I think Pillow knows that and he feels terrible about it.”

“Okay,” Sketch said. “Thanks for telling me Ghost, but enough about that. I came to talk to you about you. Is there anything I can do to help you?”

Ghost sighed, closing his eyes against the tears. “I don’t think you can bring him back.”

Sketch swallowed. “No, I can’t. I’m sorry.”

Ghost nodded sadly. “I know you can’t, I just miss him so much. Since you can’t do that, will you be able to help us be close again? Morale’s too busy obsessively training and Pillow is avoiding us because he feels guilty.”

“I’ve already spoken to Morale,” Sketch started, “He agreed that overworking himself wouldn’t help, so he’s going to work on that and we’ll just be there to remind him to take it easy if we need to. We’ll also just pay attention while he eats, so he eats enough, but not enough that he starts feeling sick.”

“Alright,” Ghost replied. “I can do that. And you haven’t talked to Pillow yet?”

Sketch shook his head. “Not yet. When I can get him alone, he’s the next one to get the talk.”

“Alright.” They laid in silence for a few moments before Ghost spoke again, “I miss him, Sketch.”

Sketch sighed, wrapping his arms around his little brother and pulling him closer. “I know you do, Ghost’ika. I miss him, too.”

Ghost’s tears started falling, and he shoved his face into Sketch’s chest. “I just want us to go back to normal; I just want my brother back.”

Running his hands through Ghost’s wavy hair, Sketch blinked back tears. “I know, I know.”

* * *

Sketch hadn’t been able to get Pillow alone the next day, but the day after, Ghost and Morale had seen him struggling with it and had excused themselves from the barracks after training had ended for the day.

Pillow had been switching between walking around the barracks and standing while tapping his foot. Finally, Sketch put a stop to the cycle before Pillow started walking again.

“Hey, Pillow!” Sketch called to him from his position on the floor. He was working on his drawings.

Pillow looked over at him. “Uh, yeah, Sketch?”

“C’mere. I wanna talk to you.” Sketch beckoned him over. He turned his drawing away from Pillow as he sat down beside him.

“Whatcha working on?” Pillow asked, trying to look the sketches.

Sketch smirked at him. “It’s a surprise, Pil’ika.”

Glaring, Pillow huffed, “Don’t call me that. You know I hate it.”

Sketch nodded. “Sure thing, vod’ika.”

Pillow rolled his eyes, knowing he wouldn’t win. “What did you want to talk about? I don’t wanna be here forever.”

Sketch glanced at him curiously. “What? You wanna go back to pacing and tapping.”

Pillow sniffed. “Yes.”

Chuckling, Sketch replied, “Okay, I want to talk to you about what Ghost and Morale told me about.”

Pillow gave an annoyed sigh and mumbled, “I knew this was coming.”

Sketch casually leaned back. “So why didn’t you say something earlier and just get it over with?”

Pillow shrugged. “I didn’t know how to approach you about it.”

Sketch sighed. “Why didn’t you talk to Ghost and Morale? They both want things to go back to normal and Morale said he misses you more than he’s angry about you.”

“He really said that?” Pillow asked, looking hopeful, before slightly angry. “Who am I kidding? Of course he said that!”

“What’s wrong with that?” Sketch asked, confused.

“He’s too damn forgiving!” Pillow exclaimed. “I called him a _failure_ , Sketch. A _failure_. And he misses me so much that he’s wants things to go back to normal when it _shouldn’t_ and _can’t_.”

Sketch patted Pillow’s shoulder. “Morale knows that, so does Ghost. But they both want to patch things up with you.”

Pillow put his head in his hands. “How am I supposed to look them in the eyes again? Laugh with them like we used to? I literally blamed Morale for Duke. How are we supposed to go back to normal?”

Sketch shook his head. “We can’t, Pillow. We will always have to live with the fact that we’ll never truly be whole again. Morale will always have to live with the fact that he feels guilty for Duke dying. You will always have to live with the fact that you blamed Morale for Duke dying. I will always have to live with feeling like I could’ve done more to help Duke. Ghost will always have to live with the feeling that he started the argument that caused a rift in our squad. We’ll never get back to normal, but we can work to fix this situation to the best of our abilities and stick together to help each other.”

Pillow was looking at the ground, trying to process Sketch’s words. Finally, he said, “Did you rehearse that speech?”

Sketch let out a surprised laugh. “No, actually. I didn’t.”

Pillow smirked lightly. “I guess you’re a natural speech giver then. Congratulations.”

“Thank you,” Sketch humbly replied and smiled.

Pillow snorted, and then his expression became softer. “Thank you for talking with me, Sketch. Why aren’t you angry at me, though?”

“Oh, trust me, I was furious,” Sketch replied seriously. “I think it’s a good thing I didn’t talk to you right after; I think I would’ve done and said things I’d regret.”

Pillow nodded. “I wouldn’t have blamed you. I really regret what I said to both of them.”

“So tell them,” Sketch insisted. “It won’t fix everything immediately, but it’s a start. I also think they would appreciate it if you approached them to talk about it.”

“You really think so?” Pillow asked quietly.

Sketch smiled. “I do.”

Pillow took a deep breath, and then nodded. He then leaned over and awkwardly side-hugged Sketch. “Umm, thanks. You’ve been a big help.”

Sketch chuckled and returned the side-hug. “No problem, anything for you guys.”

Pillow pulled away. “Ugh, please don’t get all sappy with me.”

Laughing, Sketch said, “Alright, fine. You can go. I want to finish these.” He gestured at his drawings.

Pillow eyed the curiously. “Will I get to see them?”

He nodded. “They should be done by tomorrow.”

Pillow smiled and stood up. “Can’t wait! Talk to you later!”

“Bye Pil’ika!” Sketch called to him as he walked away.

* * *

The next day, Sketch arrived at the morning meal a little bit later than the other three. He had wanted to get his drawings done so he could surprise his brothers with them. They were finally done.

Sketch walked in and found Ghost and Morale sitting together. He saw Pillow slowly approaching them. Pillow spoke to them and they both nodded their heads. Pillow smiled and sat down.

Sketch smiled at the scene. He got his food and made sure to keep the four pictures hidden. “Morning,” he greeted, sitting down.

“You’re late,” Ghost sassed.

Sketch hummed. “I was just finishing something up.”

Pillow’s gaze shot to him. “Are the pictures done?”

Sketch nodded, smirking.

“What pictures?” Ghost and Morale asked.

Sketch looked around; making sure no one was paying attention to them. Seeing no eyes on them, he pulled out the pictures and handed one to each of the three and keeping one for himself.

Ghost, Morale, and Pillow’s eyes widened when they saw the picture. It was their entire squad together, all standing in a line with their arms around each other. Sketch stood on the far left of the picture in his uniform and standard-cut hair. He smiled lightly at Duke, who was right beside him, his hair not long enough to be wavy and grinning out at them. Pillow stood beside him, smiling and his hair shaved off. Morale was grinning next to him and Ghost stood at the far right, looking away from the rest of them and fidgeting with the bottom of his shirt.

“Sketch... This is amazing!” Ghost breathed out.

Sketch blushed lightly. “Thanks, Ghost’ika. I’ve been working on them for a while now.”

Morale hugged his copy to his chest. “I’ll cherish this forever, I promise.”

“Me too,” Pillow agreed, smiling down at the picture clutched in his hand.

“Thank you so much for making these, Sketch,” Ghost stated with sincerity in his eyes. “We all really appreciate it.”

Morale and Pillow smiled at him, nodding in agreement.

They all quickly put their copies away when a droid came their way. Ghost, Morale, and Pillow started talking about the day ahead of them.

Sketch smiled at them. They weren’t whole, they never would be again, but they were healing and Sketch wouldn’t let anything set this back.

As he started eating, he ignored the feeling of the bruises on his skin from his punishment. Nothing would set this back, not even his wounds.

**Author's Note:**

> The picture described near the end is a drawing my friend jyvorakal on Tumblr did for me!
> 
> FanFiction.net: Blue-Haired-Wonder
> 
> Tumblr: blue-haired-grace
> 
> Wattpad: Anahita-Acada


End file.
